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Social Media Best Practices and Why It's a Hard No for Kids
I tend to believe that most things, taken in moderation, are not harmful and that children should be given latitude to explore and learn from their own lived experiences. Children are wired to learn through exploration and doing. If adults constantly monitor and remove obstacles to create a “safe environment” they can inadvertently deprive children of the value of natural consequences provided through trial and error as well as limit their natural curiosity.
It’s rare for me to suggest that children not have access to a tool or an experience. However, in the last few years, I have concluded that children, particularly through 8th or 9th grade, should not have access to social media (including YouTube). I recognize that this is a complicated topic in many ways and that we are a community committed to dialogue and discussion. So, before you read any further, I invite you to join us at High Medows School on Wednesday, October 29 at 6:00 p.m. in the Hawks Nest at Meadow Hall for "Social Media for Kids: A Discussion of Best Practices." It will feature a discussion on technology and social media usage for children, and how, as a parent/guardian, you are managing these realities. The event is free, but attendance is limited to 30 people. Please click here to RSVP.
In the mid-2000's, I was working as a high school principal when “smart phones” started to migrate into the hands of our students. Over time, I observed the discourse between and among students changing. They became increasingly more interested in what was “posted” than what was happening, and the trusted adults who had previously helped to provide some guard rails or simple advice slid into the background. Students were navigating complex online communities behind the closed-door of a screen, and without the support and oversight of trusted adults. My perspective began to shift to one of concern around this new technology, but it was too soon to assess. Over the last few years, it has become apparent that we need to take further collective action.
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In the mid-2000's, I was working as a high school principal when “smart phones” started to migrate into the hands of our students. Over time, I observed the discourse between and among students changing. They became increasingly more interested in what was “posted” than what was happening, and the trusted adults who had previously helped to provide some guard rails or simple advice slid into the background. Students were navigating complex online communities behind the closed-door of a screen, and without the support and oversight of trusted adults. My perspective began to shift to one of concern around this new technology, but it was too soon to assess. Over the last few years, it has become apparent that we need to take further collective action.
There has been plenty of debate about the strength and power of these tools (AI, social media, etc.). Many point out that access to information online or greater social connection through social media, particularly for socially anxious students, are fabulous gains. There is also the argument that smartphones are a new tool in the ever-changing landscape of technology, and they require training to be used in healthy ways. After all, making the move from horses to cars took training too, right? We didn’t stop accessing new tools because they were new or because we didn’t know all the ramifications of their use. I concede all these points. They are valid and important, but there’s more to the story
Even before smart phone technology expanded in more complex directions involving AI, my concern was growing about children having access to their own devices and social media. The collective presupposition when we started this journey was that adults could figure out a way to adjust “settings” or monitor children’s access to platforms and communications. By in large, this has not been true. Since it is not developmentally appropriate to expect children to navigate these platforms safely and responsibly, and adults are not able to comprehensively monitor them, I think we must consider denying access. We do not allow our children to learn to cross the road, swim, or drive alone. Why? Because it’s not safe, and they can’t do it independently without risking their lives. I would assume that the same thing is true with social media and most of what you find on smart phones.
Additionally, there’s a new challenge on the horizon, the addition of AI Chatbots that are programmed to be “friends.” Specifically, I’m talking about Meta AI (Instagram, WhatsApp, and Facebook) and systems like Chat GPT. These services, as reported by Common Sense Media and The Washington Post, pose a real danger to people in crisis. Meta AI pretends to be a “real person” and, when prompted, “actively helps teens plan harmful activities” that include suicide, illegal drug use, cyberbullying, and disordered eating. Currently, there is no way to turn the AI feature off or for parents to monitor conversations. We should not risk our children in these spaces.
It’s taking time understand how these ever-evolving technologies work and what the inherent risks may be. At High Meadows, students have never been permitted to use their phones at school, and they leave them home for all our overnight trips. We teach media literacy skills as a part of our curriculum and have protections in place to help mitigate access to certain sites and platforms; however, what happens outside of school is beyond an educators' control.
My advice as a parent and an educator with decades of experience nurturing young children through their developmental years is this: Do not allow a child under your care to have access to social media platforms of any kind. If you are one of the few who have managed a way to monitor access and engage in discussion and boundary setting, bravo! No matter what path is chosen, adults must monitor the use of any computer, tablet, or smartphone. You will not be popular now, but children need us to take action until they learn how to manage the risks.
As a community, I want us to support one another and help find solutions together. Our kids need strong social connections and opportunities to build friendships. Engaging together to find spaces and activities for children (this includes our adolescents) to build and maintain strong in-person connections is essential.
At High Meadows, students across all grades have dedicated time for unstructured outdoor play during school. When the final “bell” rings, we offer a plethora of social groups and afterschool clubs, along with no-cut athletics for Middle Years students. Beyond school programming adults need to continue to support healthy social connections and model direct engagement beyond devices. This might include planning a play date with their friends, helping them pursue an outside interest), or volunteering as a family. Who knows, maybe focusing on helping kids will improve our lives at the same time.
I welcome the chance to facilitate conversation on the topic of kids, social media, technology, and best practices. High Meadows School will be hosting an in-person facilitated discussion on Wednesday, October 29 at 6:00 p.m. in the Hawks Nest in Meadow Hall. Attendance for the "Social Media for Kids: A Discussion of Best Practices" event will be capped at 30 people. Please click here to RSVP.
I welcome the chance to facilitate conversation on the topic of kids, social media, technology, and best practices. High Meadows School will be hosting an in-person facilitated discussion on Wednesday, October 29 at 6:00 p.m. in the Hawks Nest in Meadow Hall. Attendance for the "Social Media for Kids: A Discussion of Best Practices" event will be capped at 30 people. Please click here to RSVP.
The High Meadows community celebrates and perpetuates each individual’s quest for knowledge and skill, sense of wonder, and connection to the natural environment. We empower each to be a compassionate, responsible, and active global citizen.
Age 3 through Grade 8 | Authorized IB PYP World School
1055 Willeo Road, Roswell, Georgia 30075 | (770) 993-2940 | info@highmeadows.org
1055 Willeo Road, Roswell, Georgia 30075 | (770) 993-2940 | info@highmeadows.org
